According to police reports, the pickle problems began when Bobby Lee Bolen of Buchanan was hanging out at his then-friend Jody Lee's home in Buchanan on Aug. 20.
Bolen went to the refrigerator and helped himself to some pickles. According to the report, Lee told Bolen he couldn't afford to feed everyone and not to eat his pickles. Bolen then began yelling and swearing and stormed out, according to the report.
Later, Bolen barged back into the house and got into an argument with Lee. Lee told police Bolen slammed him down on the couch and threw two large pickles at him and said, "Here's your damn pickles."
Bolen also shoved former friend J.W. Romanski III and beat Lee with a telephone when he tried to call 911, according to the report. Two counts involving Bolen's assaults were dismissed as was a charge of cutting or interfering with phone lines.
"If this is not the silliest case I've ever seen in this courtroom, it certainly is in the Top 10," Berrien Trial Court Judge Scott Schofield said. "The fact that it's silly doesn't mean that it's not serious."
You guidelines types want to know the going sentence for assault with a dangerous pickle?
Bolen's sentence included 54 days in jail with credit for 54 days served and one year of probation.
Oh, and oh, yeah . . . .
Defense attorney Robert Lutz said alcohol appeared to be at the root of Bolen's problems.
Huhhhh . . . .